Face in the mirror
by bepalin
Summary: a non-evolution Nightcrawler story


Insert standard disclaimer here This takes place after one of the x-men's many battles where it was possible for bystanders to get hurt. It really makes no difference which one, just pick your favorite. Also, I know very little about religion, and apologize beforehand for any mistakes I make regarding that topic.  
  
  
  
  
  
Now, on to the story:  
  
  
Face in the mirror  
  
  
  
Sometimes you look in the mirror and are surprised by the face that looks back at you. Its not that you don't recognize it, its just that for a moment you see it as other people would, without any knowledge of what's behind the face..  
  
  
  
Forgive me, I have sinned..  
  
  
  
Father Daniel McDonnell watched his congregation file out of the church, and held his hand out to them as they went. Most he had known from when they were children, quite a few of them had their own children now. Some had grandchildren. That was a sobering thought, he couldn't possible be getting that old. It seemed only yesterday that he'd first been anointed, when he'd first taken up the work of the lord at this church. Shaking off that thought he smiled as he held his hand out to another familiar family passing by.  
  
  
  
Please.. lord forgive me..  
  
  
  
After the church had finally cleared out, Father McDonnell turned back to the doors of his church. He reached out to touch the smooth wood that formed them. It was solid, familiar, comforting. He stepped through the doorway, into the church itself, then paused for a moment, silhouetted in the colored sunlight shining through one of the churches stained glass windows. Something seemed out of place. He looked around, trying to place what was wrong. The church seemed empty somehow.. Kurt. That was what was missing. Kurt normally stayed after every mass, to help with whatever needed done. His presence had become as familiar as the rest of the church, solid and expected, and Daniel had trouble recalling a mass when Kurt hadn't been there. The young mans compassion and faith had earned him a place with the clergy of the church, and Daniel hoped he was all right. Perhaps he would call him later, to check on him.  
  
  
  
Forgive me ..I tried.. Please lord, forgive me..  
  
  
  
Daniel closed the screen door behind him, flicking on the light switch in the small parsonage he called home. For a moment he watched the sunset out the window, marveling at such a wondrous example of the beauty of gods work. The wispy clouds on the horizon were tinted a light pink and the blue of the sky was streaked with orange and red. Turning, a small smile still on his lips, Daniel walked to the desk in the living room. He picked up the phone and (after a moments thought to remember the number) called the the school Kurt lived in. Sometimes Daniel wondered why Kurt didn't get his own apartment, why he had such odd living arrangements, but Kurt wasn't exactly forthcoming about his past and Daniel didn't want to pry. After a few rings someone picked up the phone. It was a young girls voice, she sounded no more than 12 or 13 years old. That surprised Daniel a bit, he hadn't thought Kurt had children living with him.   
"Xaviers school for the gifted, how may I help you?" the girl said, her voice polite and cheerful.  
  
  
  
Please Lord, forgive me... I couldn't help them...  
  
  
  
"This is Father McDonnell, I was wondering if Kurt was there." The girl on the other end of the line was silent for a moment, then spoke up again, her voice loosing some of its cheerfulness.  
  
"You mean he's not at the church?.. uh.. could you hold on a sec?" she said, then before Daniel could answer he heard the receiver being put down and the sound of footsteps in the background. After a few moments another voice answered, this one of a woman, who sounded older and had an odd accent Daniel couldn't place.  
  
"Hello? Father Daniel? This is Orora Monroe, a friend of Kurts."  
  
"Hello Miss Monroe. Yes, I was wondering if Kurt was all right, he didn't come to mass today."   
The woman, Orora, was silent for a moment.  
  
"Yes, I know he was gone today, there was a.. " she paused again.  
"..family crisis. Kurt was very upset when we last saw him. We are not sure where he is now either. Father, if he comes to the church will you please tell us?" she asked, the worry evident in her voice.  
  
"Yes, yes of course Miss Monroe." Daniel answered quickly. Apparently Kurt's friends cared about him a great deal, but that didn't surprise Daniel, Kurt seemed to make friends quite easily.  
He said goodbye then hung up.  
--Kurt never said anything about his family..-   
He sent a silent prayer for whoever it was that was in trouble, then stepped to the doorway.He looked out over the horizon, where the last light of day was fading.   
Suddenly another light, in one of the chapel windows, caught his eyes.  
--That's odd.. the church should be deserted by now.. even the cleaning staff has gone home.- For a moment he wondered if it might be Kurt, but Daniel had the only set of keys so he dismissed that idea. Grabbing his coat from its hook by the door (the night air had gotten chilly) he stepped outside and strode over towards his church. He paused at the doorway to test the door. It was locked, just as he'd left it. Suddenly worried, he unlocked it and stepped into the darkness inside.   
  
  
  
Please.. oh god I'm so sorry ..God please, please forgive me..  
  
  
  
Father McDonnell walked down the short hallway to the chapel, his footsteps echoing back at him loudly. His hands had clenched in fists on their own accord, for though he was not a violent man, Daniel's Irish blood could be stirred when it came to defending his church and parish. There had been a rash of vandalism a few weeks back, and as he turned the corner into the chapel he half expected to see a group of youngsters with cans of spray paint. Instead, to his surprise, a man was kneeling in front of the alter, the light of a single candle silhouetting him in the darkness.  
The figures shoulders where shaking, and Daniel could hear the faint sound of weeping. Despite the fact that whoever it was an intruder, with no apparent way of having got in here, Daniel's heart went out to him. Any soul in pain deserved to be comforted, even if only by such a simple thing someone to talk to. He walked up towards the alter, his footsteps muffled slightly by the carpet.  
"Excuse me my son.." he said softly when he'd gotten a few feet from the figure.  
  
  
  
God.. please ...vas??!!  
  
  
  
Startled, the figure whirled around, its face revealed in the flickering light of the candle. Daniel gasped, and stepped back, crossing himself.  
The mans face was that of a demon, with glowing yellow eyes, dark blue skin, pointed ears, and fangs that glinted sharply in the candle light. Its hands, oddly shaped, shot up to its face as if to hide it from view.  
'God in heaven..!" Daniel gasped, stumbling backwards. Never, in all his years in the clergy, had he ever encountered anything like this... his mind didn't seem able to work.. it was stuck in slow motion.   
He didn't know how to react, what he was supposed to do, all the knowledge he'd gained over the years and suddenly he felt like some child, confused and scared...  
For a moment the demon just stared, its face as shocked as Daniel's, then all at once it crumpled in on itself, its shoulders shaking violently and its tail..  
( dear god in heaven.. it has a tail..)  
..thrashed weakly behind it, beating a strange staccato rhythm to match its sobbing.  
For a few tense moments Father Daniel just stared. Then his mind finally seemed to turn back on. Licking lips that had suddenly gone dry, he took another step back, his eyes still frozen on the demon kneeling in front of him. Its face was streaked with tears and the candle light reflecting off them, giving its face a soft halo. And still it sobbed, its mouth moving in whispers almost too faint to hear.   
  
  
  
Oh god.. why.. I tried.. oh please.. please.. forgive me..   
  
  
  
Daniel turned to flee, to prey, to call the bishop, anything.. then had to stop. The demons wracking sobs taunted him, calling him back. The compassion in him ached to comfort the thing, regardless of what it was.   
--Surely.. if it is in pain..- he turned back, trying to ignore the slight shaking of his hands and the uneasiness in his stomach. He stepped forward, kneeling next to the thing and reached out a hand towards its shoulder, hesitating for only a moment before putting his hand on it. He was surprised to find it covered in a thin layer of material. He had not noticed at first, but the demon had an odd black and red outfit on, with red wing like points above its shoulders.  
--Demons would not wear clothing- that thought helped Daniel find his voice.  
"My.. son.. why are you crying?" he managed to ask, though his voice wasn't quite as steady as he would have hoped.   
He didn't expect it to speak, but after a moment it did, though its voice was muffled and hoarse and almost to soft to here.  
" I tried father.. I tried but I couldn't help and.." It got no farther before another sob hit it, stealing its voice.  
Something about the things voice seemed strikingly familiar, but Daniel didn't bother to try and place it. He was starting to see the demon (no the man) as another of gods souls, and felt his normal responsibility to guide those in need returning.   
"Who son? who did you try to help..?"  
The demon sat up a little, though it still rocked back and forth slightly clutching its odd shaped hands in front of it.  
"They.. they vere just normal people, I saw vhat vas going to happen.. I..I tried to get to them.. but I vasn't fast enough.. I don't even know who they vere.. dear god.. they died in my arms.." The man broke down sobbing again and Daniel leaned forward, trying to be as reassuring a presence as he could.   
-- There must have been an accident, he must have tried to help someone but couldn't do anything..-  
It seemed ludicrous to be thinking that of the thing in front of him, but just then Daniel didn't care. The mans pain was more than evident, his face was frozen in a mask of anguish and the shoulder muscles under Daniel's hands where pulled taunt. After a few moments the man calmed the sobs wracking his body enough to find his voice again.  
"Und the worse thing.. vas.. vas.. that the last thing they saw was me.." The thing said, turning its tear streaked face towards Daniel's. Daniel was shocked at the expression on the mans face. He'd rarely seen a soul in such agony, one that seemed so lost.   
"I.. showed them Hell before they died.. God forgive me.. their faces, they vere so frightened, und the last thing they saw was my face.." the man said in a voice so haunted that it pained Daniel to listen to it. The man dropped his head back down then, tears still streaking down his dark face though he was silent and his expression had gone blank. Somehow that disturbed Daniel more then the sobs, the mans silent withdrawal.   
"No my son, no." Daniel said, surprised by the sureness of his own words.   
"Surely, its better that the last thing they see is a look of compassion, regardless of the form that brings it. It is no sin to try and help others, and God will not fault you for trying to bring others comfort." Daniel said softly, keeping one hand on the mans quaking shoulder.  
For a moment the demon stilled, then it slowly looked up at Daniel, tears still gleaming in its glowing eyes.  
"Truly, I tried.." it said, its voice lost and hopeful at the same time.   
"The lord knows you did my son, the lord knows." Daniel said reassuringly. The man looked at him for a moment, his eyes starting to loose some of the pain that had filled them.  
"Please.. Father.. please.. pray with me." The man whispered, straightening up a little. This simple plea, issued from such a strange and demonic looking being, would be enough to keep Father Daniel up for many nights to come, but whether it was because he was afraid of nightmares or something else, he would never know.  
He wasn't sure how long they knelt there, it seemed like hours, or maybe minutes, Daniel couldn't tell. Then, almost to quite to be heard, the demon whispered "Thank you." By the time Daniel looked up it was gone, only a trace of smoke showing that it had ever been there at all.  
  
  
  
Storm was in the kitchen when the doorbell rang. She hurried to answer it, even though she was only wearing her pajamas and a robe. She opened it to reveal Kurt, his head down and hand still posed to knock again.  
"Kurt! We were so worried, are you all right?" she said, fear and relief clear in her voice. He'd taken off after the battle, nobody had known where he'd gone, or if he'd been hurt, or what had happened. She stepped back to let him in and was surprised to see the fur around his eyes was dark with moisture, and that he looked absolutely exhausted.  
"Kurt we.." Kurt shook his head and held up a hand, cutting her off.  
"I am all right Orora. Truly I am. I just needed some time to myself. I am sorry I vorried you. Though, I think to see you in your pajamas it vas vorth it." he added with a hint of his usual humor.  
His face was still sad though, and later, when he headed up to his room, the slump of his shoulder showed just how very tired he was. Storm stared after him a moment, wondering just what had happened and what he was hiding behind those haunted eyes and sad face. Then, as everyone does, she went to bed, leaving Kurt to face whatever demons he had on his own, be they in his own reflection or not.  
  
  
  
-the end-  
  
  
  
Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed it. Review this if you want, but please, read some of the other works on fanfiction. The authors work very hard on their stories and they deserve to be read.   
  
  
  
  
  
  



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